BUT MATURE PEOPLE ARE BORING AND SOUTH PARK IS QUITE FUNNY

I'm getting married in 30 days. But I'm still immature. The carpet in my apartment hasn't been vacuumed once this year. I swear. I lie. I eat taco bell for breakfast. I chew my fingernails. I get drunk and stupid at parties*. When I go to Target, I look at the legos but forget my groceries. When I go back to Target for groceries, I fill my red basket with Buffalo Ranch Doritos and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. There's old milk in my fridge right beside the new milk. I know which one to take because the new milk isn't yellow and oily. I think penis jokes are funny. If you ask me to do something I don't want to do, I'll say no. But if you want me to do something that's dangerous and stupid and you ask me in the form of a dare, I might say yes. I'm lazy. I don't respond to emails because it takes too much work. I'm thinking about dropping out of Netflix because it's too much work. I go to Seven-Eleven to contemplate the various candies. I'm thinking about taking up skateboarding again, but only I can find a deck with a sexy cartoon pin-up. I'm not thinking about taking up skateboarding because I still have to figure out where the local hospital is. I like South Park because I think the writing for Cartman is very smart. I can't read real books because I can't sit still long enough. I buy all my clothes in brown or green because brown is the new orange and green is the colour of the Roughriders. I cry when if football team gets eliminated from the playoffs. I don't like watching scary movies because they give me nightmares. I have a Cookie Monster sticker on my GameCube. I need to remind myself not to drink too much Pepsi late at night or it will keep me awake. I want a pet, but I don't think I can take care of a dog so I was trying to get Jodie to let me get a Roomba instead.

And call it Beepy.

Slacker Book Report

THE OVERLOOK by Michael Connelly "we're all circling the drain" Harry Bosch makes Jack Bauer look like a pretty boy a quick audiobook - 6 hours unabridged this book is too obsessed with names listen to it for $20 on iTunes