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UPDATE ~ tuesday 1:09 AM
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My name is Luke. And the story goes like this.
Jesse decided to bless me with swank.ca posting authority, so I sent him a shitty-ass picture of me. He turned me into a cartoon like the rest of the website, but he gave me pink licorice lips! I didn't ever ask for pink licorice lips but he gave them to my anyway. I called the swank.ca complaint department and voiced my concerns. 5 minutes didn't go by and I was informed that I best reload the gif and see my non-licorice lips. I'm happy to have but a black hairline to separate my teeth from my cheek. Thank you swank.ca! You've changed my life.
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UPDATE ~ 12:52 AM
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when the fuck will burger king come out with the damn yellow JURASSIC PARK 3 cups in the kids' meal? i'm trying to collect the whole freakin' set but the whopper bastards are just not letting it happen
bastards
and why are my arms so puny? i'm pissed at the world today
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UPDATE ~ saturday 12:25 PM
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last night i was at grahams at like 1:30 in the morning and there was porn on like all the channels. we watched 'cityTv' a channel you don't even need cable for and it was like all porn with lesbians and everything. and of course showcase was some sort of plotless excuse for nudity. where was all this stuff when i was a child?
so now we are changing our name from slacker sound sistims to slacker slightly pornographic film sirvices. our new role is to provide hard core porno to the youth of today who have been unjustly prevented from seeing the boobies they crave.
actually no this is all a lie. but this is interesting
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UPDATE ~ friday 1:34 PM
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roar roar i am a dinosaur
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UPDATE ~ 1:31 AM
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fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck my god damn cs project chewed through an entire 40 hours of my life this week fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck we finally got the whore done and it looked good but i still smell like the lab fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck what do i have to show for it fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck that depends on whether or not you have a sun box at your house fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck a sun box is not a solarium fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck fuck ass fuck ass fuck ass fuck
obligatory spent 40 hours in lab computer user link
obligatory my prof sucks link
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UPDATE ~ tuesday 1:53 PM
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So what's this you might ask? Why the post all of a sudden? Well, I was busy trying to work on this assignment and I thought, what better way to put off working on this assignment then to surf and share?
So to honour of everyone's slacking nature, check this site out and prepare to embrace yours.
I dare you
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UPDATE ~ monday 10:46 PM
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I © BOOBIES
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UPDATE ~ 2:32 PM
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Alright, here is the first posting by everyone's favorite cigar smoking friend. So there I was at Queen and John, trying not to listen to the horid crap on MuchMusic, so I deside to surf the web. I deside to look for some canadian '70s porn, so i type in swank.ca...and where do I go??? HERE!!! what the hell kind of site is this....well it's four guys who like to get drunk and design clothing... YA these guys are straight!!! ha, don't be ashamed slacker boys, be who you are, this country does accept homosexuals. The only difference between these guys and the backstreet boys is that even 14 year old girls hate these guys! Oh and what is it with the hat thing? Like if these stupid sheep buy these hats they'll automatically be cool?! Any one who has every visited this website is automatically less cool than the rest of the world. I'm sorry if I sound bitter, but if you'll notice I'm missing certain organs that let me ease my tension.
Well that's my first posting of sarcastic assism. There will be more, if you'd like to tell me how much you hate me, or anything else, mail: eddie_thesock@hotmail.com
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UPDATE ~ 12:26 PM
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Well it's a boring-ass Monday and I have a ton of shit to do. So instead of doing it I'm looking at all the groovy stuff on ebay. And this leads me to a new feature on swank.ca:
What is the slacker crew bidding for on ebay today?
Jesse: Jurassic Park posters
Graham: Cologne
Mark: Concert Tix
Clayton: One Dozen Bibs
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UPDATE ~ friday 1:08 AM
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Amazing - lt looks like the SSS crew will be putting in an order to get 17 hats made tomorrow. The most popular style was black baseball caps - the SSS crew are phashionable models!
Caps should take about two weeks to arrive, so we will all be saving ourselves from the sun with the caps come Civic day.
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UPDATE ~ thursday 12:48 AM
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-i-
roar roar you should watch out the jessasaurus is coming for you
watch out watch out he's going to turn your car upside down
chomp chomp the jessasaurus likes eating yummy chickens
-ii-
roar roar jessasaurus is chasing the spinosaurus
spinosaurus looks big but he is just a lot of teeth
quick is jessasaurus who has knocked over other dinosaur
dinosaurs fight and scratch like girls but they do not kiss
Everyone in the world went to go see Jurassic Park 3 today. It was very good. I saw it twice.
Hats are all due in tomorrow! Yikes!
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UPDATE ~ tuesday 12:35 AM
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good old 19-89 when young
good when young 19 - old 89
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UPDATE ~ monday 1:39 AM
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...busy weekend in Regina this weekend. I am greatful for my incredible friends; and honoured to have such a fine group of men in my place.
Hat orders need to be in by this Thursday night; here's the details as per an email sent out to a select group:
BASEBALL CAPS, pro-fit, flex-fit, full-back ... in 2 sizes:
Normal (S-M) or Jumbo-head (L-XL) cost $24 no tax.
available in black, navy, red, forest, stone (whitish)
BUCKET HATS (also known as fisherman hats, girl guide hats)
One Size - $16 no tax.
available in black, stone, red, blue, forest green,
khaki green, navy, light blue, orange
To place a hat order bring cash or cheque to myself, Mark, Clayton or Graham. All hats will be delivered on August 6th in both Saskatchewan and Ontario baring no unforseen bad shit.
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UPDATE ~ friday 2:35 PM
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spin
At Slacker Sound Sistims, we have an alterior motive -- we want to keep you safe! Slacker hats keep you safe. We love you!
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UPDATE ~ wednesday 3:55 PM
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Ok so I am in Regina for the next couple days... and Mark has so graciously invited me to stay at his house! So I am here while everyone is at work and I am just sorta hanging out and I thought hey lets post something up just to waste some time. So anyways I don't have any kewl things to put up like Jesse the over achiever Wilson but I do have something for everyone to check out. I know Napster is down and that really sux so here is a new one for ya that is just as good if not better... Song Spy Check it out. So ya that is about all I have to say right now.. keep your eyes peeled because in the next couple of months there will be a few annoucements!!
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UPDATE ~ 12:44 AM
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Anyone else want the 2003 Z? When it's released in 14 months, it just might replace the 1990 'stang as the official car of slacker sound sistims.
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UPDATE ~ tuesday 9:04 PM
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103 HOURS
310 HATS
oh yes and i am going to go work on some propaghanda for our amazing new thing. Oh and check out our brand new privacy policy.
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UPDATE ~ monday 6:44 PM
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hey you work for slacker sound sistims? if you do then you are allowed to visit our private archive of SLACKER media. If you work for us, click here
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UPDATE ~ 6:34 PM
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Continuing our amazing phashion trend, COCLOCO has decided to screen some shirts - with this funky fire on it. If you're interested, email COCLOCO vp Luke Cyca - the shirts'll cost you $20 - cheap! Get one today, but make sure to keep enough cash on hand for your FACIAL-SUNBURN-DENYING STYLE-PLENTY SLACKER HAT!
Oh yeah and by the way, there's no such thing as COCLOCO. It's actually Cobalt Clothing Co., but just as "SOBE" is groovier than "SOUTH BEACH", I think "COCLOCO" is more swank than Cobalt. Whatezer
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UPDATE ~ friday 4:35 PM
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If there are any Canadian's reading this: Just so you know the USA could bomb the living crap out of Canada if we wanted to, I'm not saying that the USA would do that, I'm just saying that we COULD do that if we wanted to, just so you know... for that matter the USA could bomb the living beejuses out of Canada and Australia SIMULTANEOUSLY if we so desired, it would probably take the better part of the afternoon but the USA could bomb the holy hell out of Canada and Australia if we wanted to, I'm not saying we would do that but we could if we wanted to and stuff, yeah the USA rocks!! USA is #1, just so you know
oh yeah and buy our wicked ass SLACKER HATS!
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UPDATE ~ thursday 6:55 PM
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Hey yo everyone yeah that's you, punk! You need a SLACKER SOUND SISTIMS hat before your hair exposed to the sun catches fire! This is a serious problem with today's fancy dancy hair-gel. So! You need to but a SSS Hat today! You can get bucket hats which some local celebrities have described as "damn sexy" for $16 or flex-fit baseball caps that make you look like a professional hat model for $24. To order yours today, send your favourite SSS employee some cash and your name, colour and whether you want a bucket cap or a pro-fit cap. If this isn't convincing enough, check out our budget-ass promotional animation.
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UPDATE ~ wednesday 9:36 PM
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SLACKER SOUND SISTIMS now has an official Windows Media skin! It's way groovier than anything else out there! Click here to listen in an amazing new way!
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UPDATE ~ monday 5:07 PM
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today we decide new slogan be
EASY 15 GOOD
if you have problem with this, please call our toll-free slogan bitch line at 1-900-EASY-IS-SHITTY-SLOGAN-SO-I-THINK-YOU-SHOULD-CHANGE-IT-AND-BY-THE-WAY-I-FUCKED-YOUR-SISTER-!!!-@-AOL.COM
Oh and by the way the person who chose this slogan is jesse wilson so he gets a free slacker sound sistims t-shirt. unfortunately since he paid for the shirts in the first place this just means that he doesn't get $25 bucks! so sucks to him! ha ha ha ha ha
oh that's me! fucka
oh yeah courtney is a bitch
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UPDATE ~ sunday 4:10 PM
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today is the day SLACKER is supposed to announce our winner for the slogan competition. Well um our new slogan is "SLACKER SOUND SISTIMS : ISN'T THAT REFRESHING"
Well since no-one submitted that slogan we are going to give the prize SSS T-Shirt to 7-up man.
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